


estimations

by torasame



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Bokuto Koutarou Being Bokuto Koutarou, Eventual Relationships, Falling In Love, Fluff, How Do I Tag, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-23
Updated: 2021-01-23
Packaged: 2021-03-15 05:07:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,177
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28933017
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/torasame/pseuds/torasame
Summary: Bokuto Koutarou does not know a lot of things, but for once, he knows a little more than Akaashi does.
Relationships: Akaashi Keiji/Bokuto Koutarou
Comments: 6
Kudos: 48





	estimations

**Author's Note:**

> Today marks a year since I published my first Haikyuu fic so I thought I would write a fic in honour of it. This is based on something my beta Chi had told me back then, she said something along the lines of wanting to see Bokuto's perspective so huzzah, I did the best I could. It was quite a challenge given our opposing personalities, but it was a good experience nonetheless.
> 
> I hope I've improved from a year ago haha, I guess a notable difference would be the word count and the tense, and probably how I approach writing fics in general. I believe I wrote "certainties" as a small character study. Oh to return to times I could muster up the braincells to write little ficlets.
> 
> Looking back, I guess I've moved a little further. I am acting on the "big plans" for krtsk, which I'm quite proud of haha.
> 
> But self reflecion aside, happy reading everyone. Here's a fluff drabble about the world's protagonists.

Bokuto doesn’t know a lot of things.

He accepts that, almost to a fault. He’s never been particularly academic, never been interested in fact finding or researching. In his defense, he’s never been one to believe in novel observations. He takes in the world with his five senses, he processes information through his experiences, through moments he witnesses first hand. And that sort of lifestyle never really calls for substantial knowledge.

Bokuto believes he doesn’t need to know the laws of physics to be able to hit a ball at will, to make it curve the way he wants to. All he knows is how to adjust to it, how to fix his serve, change his approach, add a bit more power. He doesn’t need to know rigid grammatical rules to be able to express how he’s feeling, to communicate with his team. He doesn’t need to know history that stretches further than his family’s established and recorded lineage.

Bokuto Koutarou does not know a lot of things simply because he doesn’t  _ need  _ to.

Akaashi Keiji, on the other hand, is the living dispute to his philosophy.

Akaashi makes having stellar grades look easy. He reads religiously, with Bokuto sometimes having to hunt him down when he makes a beeline for the library in between classes. He navigates shelves with books collecting dust, uncovering novels with aged pages and seemingly ancient concepts. Akaashi is one for astute deductions and scholarly insights. He takes the word in through the words hidden beneath the text, navigating it with the vast network that is his mind. That sort of lifestyle requires an exuberant amount of knowledge.

He calculates his sets, analyzing every move in abidance to the laws of motion. He expresses himself in the words of poets. His conversationalism could very well earn him a seat in a gathering of classical authors, musicians and monarchs. Akaashi owns his words and the very language he speaks. He could very well name most (if not all) historical landmarks within their vicinity. Akaashi enjoys reading autobiographies, stories from the wars and catalogs of inventions and ideas.

In other words, to Bokuto, Akaashi may as well be a walking encyclopedia. In other words, Akaashi knows everything that he doesn’t.

And it works for them. To each man his own, as the saying goes.

They are total opposites, he and Akaashi. They often didn’t see eye-to-eye in certain things, but never enough to cause an argument. He doesn’t really understand how Akaashi looks at the world, how he grasps the subtext out of thin air. He doesn’t know just how far Akaashi’s distanced gaze stretches. He doesn’t know what’s going on in his brilliant mind, doesn’t know how Akaashi functions the way he does and what brought him to do so.

In the midst of his own questioning, he is once again astounded by him. Because Akaashi seems to read him perfectly.

Akaashi knows the weaknesses he hasn’t been able to put to words, the weaknesses he himself missed. Akaashi knows how to set the ball just right, knows when Bokuto wants the spike without a word. He remembers his favourite restaurants and dishes. Whenever Bokuto goes running around during a break, trying to figure out if he has a maths test next period or a science experiment - Akaashi is there to steer him in the right direction. Akaashi is there to say  _ no, Bokuto-san, you have neither of those things after lunch.  _ Akaashi is there to pat him on the back, offer his own share of lunch, and tell him that he has history instead.

Akaashi always knows the right words to say.

Akaashi always knows how to pull him together.

They are total opposites, he and Akaashi. Akaashi knows all the things he doesn’t, after all. But Bokuto reminds himself that Akaashi does not, indeed, know everything.

He does know that because for once, Bokuto knows something Akaashi doesn’t.

“You don’t smile in pictures very often,” Bokuto says. 

Akaashi sets his book down, the expression in his eyes tells him to go on.

“You don’t smile much in general.”

“Hm. I do find it quite difficult to smile on cue.”

“But that’s what makes it more special.” Akaashi looks toward him, dark eyes shining a little greener under the sunlight. “It just means that when you do smile, it’s something you can’t help. It’s more genuine that way.”

He doesn’t know what Akaashi is thinking. His expression remains blank, but there’s the ever, almost microscopic crease in his brow. Bokuto assumes he’s thinking deeply - but then again, he always is.

“That’s a reasonable observation.”

“You should smile more. You look really cool when you do.”

And there it is, the tiniest hints of the smile he can’t help. “Within reason, Bokuto-san.”

Bokuto doesn’t know a lot of things, but he’s damn well determined to learn a few if he has to.

For starters, he’s going to have to find a lot more reasons to make Akaashi smile.

He’s gonna have to start learning a lot more about Akaashi in general.

Despite their obvious differences, it isn’t as hard as he expects. It’s a bit like solving an equation with the inverse operation. To figure out what it  _ could  _ be, you have to start with what you have, flip it on its head, and go from there. He learnt that from Akaashi once. Maybe that’s how he managed to figure Bokuto out so easily.

And for the most part, the theory holds true.

If Bokuto lives his life day to day, then Akaashi lives his miles ahead. If he lives for the moment, then Akaashi lives for the future. If he takes things as they are, Akaashi is turning things over and over in his head. If he doesn’t think too much about things then Akaashi must be overthinking them. If he bases his decisions on his heart and beliefs, Akaashi bases his on his brain and logic.

That’s when he begins to understand a bit more about Akaashi Keiji, and how he does not in fact know everything.

That’s when he learns that he does know a little more than him about a few things.

He knows Akaashi gets a little nervous to approach people. He knows he wrings his hands together to keep his mind occupied, to run habitual circles into his palm to keep himself steady. He knows that he doesn’t like people opening his books too wide in fear of the spine creasing. He knows there are nights he doesn’t sleep well because of his thoughts, he knows there are days he has to convince himself to even get out of bed. He knows because there are days where Akaashi does take his offer to phone him up, where he throws caution into the wind and calls him only to mutter a single sentence. It’s enough for Bokuto to understand and reassure him. It’s enough for him to say  _ it’s alright Akaashi, you should take the day off,  _ and Akaashi will listen. Akaashi listens because it’s him. 

He knows Akaashi can’t help but come off as a little blunt, a little awkward and stiff. He knows there are days Akaashi withdraws himself from the crowd, with the look in his storm coloured eyes speaking more than words could say. He knows Akaashi wishes he could loosen up a little, wishes he could communicate a little better. He knows this because in these days Akaashi is quiet, but the silence echoes with the phantoms of self destruction in his mind.

Bokuto knows Akaashi does not see himself as anything great. He knows he sees himself as someone mundane, ordinary. He knows this because Akaashi is quick to praise him but speechless in terms of himself. And it isn’t entirely self deprecation, it isn’t some form of neuroticism but a matter of genuine cluelessness. Bokuto finds that Akaashi truly does not know less than half of the good things about him.

It manages to confuse him at the same time because how on Earth does Akaashi not know of his intelligence? Of his perception, versatility and grace? How does Akaashi, who has the secrets of the universe in his mind, think himself to be nothing but some forgettable person one would pass on the street? How does Akaashi find all the good in Bokuto? How does he find all his impulsive antics entertaining and endearing? How does he manage to construct meaningful interpretations to Bokuto’s mindlessness and yet find nothing in his own genius?

Why could he not comprehend how all these things brought Bokuto to profess his adoration for him?

“I don’t understand.” Akaashi tells him one day as they’re walking down the street after practice. He’s wringing his bandaged fingers, the crease in his features a bit more prominent. “Why do you put up with me?”

Bokuto can’t help but smile a little, no matter the irony of the scene. Because Akaashi does not know everything, and for once, Bokuto knows a little more than he does. He smiles because now he can teach Akaashi something and Akaashi listens. He listens because it is Bokuto, after all.

"You know, Akaashi, for someone so cool I'm really surprised you haven't figured it out." And it isn’t meant to degrade him. It’s a light-hearted jab to someone so intellectual. Because even geniuses can overlook the smallest of things. Even geniuses can miscalculate ever so slightly. Even Akaashi Keiji, who Bokuto believed knew everything, could not know anything about the greatness within himself. Because that’s just how he is. Because he’s got his mind in the galaxies that he forgets the gravity keeping him down. Because he’s so busy looking at the future, about everything he should be and everything he has to do that he doesn’t see what’s right in front of his eyes.

Bokuto isn’t exactly as articulate as he is. He does not have the liberty of grand speech, of beautiful and poetic proclamations. Because he and Akaashi are total opposites, after all. But maybe that’s how they function together. Maybe that’s how they balance one another out. Like water that isn’t too hot or cold. Like a room that isn’t too dark or too bright. Maybe that’s how they manage to meet in the middle.

“It isn't complex or anything like that but maybe you just aren't used to it yet, but it's really simple and as sappy as it sounds,” it’s sheepish, cliche almost. But it’s what he feels. “I love you.”

Akaashi’s ever still expression crumples. There are tears shining in his eyes, his cheeks are flushing with heat and Bokuto has to stop himself from laughing a little. He pulls him into his arms, resting his head into his shoulder, and pats him softly on the back. He lets Akaashi’s tears stain the fabric of his jacket, humming quietly to ease his nerves.

“Hey Akaashi?” He’s met with silence, but he knows he’s listening. “Do you think we’ll be able to reach the stars one day? Well, I guess we already have, but it’d be cool to see one up close right?”

Akaashi takes a shaky breath. Bokuto gives him time, rubbing his back to encourage the remnants of the tears he still needs to cry. “It would be.”

“I’ll take you to the stars one day. Even if I have to figure out all the complicated formulas myself. I’ll fly you up there.”

A watery laugh. “That’s very kind of you, Bokuto-san.”

“I’m serious.” Bokuto carefully moves to cup Akaashi’s face in his palms. “But even if I won’t be able to, I’ll be sure to take you to take you to the place in the world with the second-best view of the stars.”

“What happened to the best place?”

“Well I don’t have a mirror on me right now, and you’re still crying a little but,” he feels himself smile, “the best place in the world to see the stars are in your eyes.”

“That’s… that’s very romantic, Bokuto-san.”

“But it’s true.” Bokuto says, “it’s true and it made you smile.”

Akaashi ducks his head, a habit Bokuto has learnt signifies bashfulness. There’s fingers intertwining with his delicately, so he holds on firmly. He holds on with the certainty granted to him.

He has so much to tell him, so much to show him, so much to learn. But for tonight, he’s going to walk him home. He’s going to hold his hand and point out the constellations in the sky. He’ll give them all silly names and Akaashi will quietly correct him. He’s going to kiss him goodnight underneath the night sky, laugh as he gets flustered and wish him goodnight.

Bokuto Koutarou does not know a lot of things. He does not know how far the stars are from the Earth, doesn’t know how to fly a rocketship or even get permission to do so. But that doesn’t worry him for now. He’s got the rough idea, he’s got an estimation - he can figure out the rest when he needs to.

**Author's Note:**

> closing remarks from Chi: Ayie kissie kissie bokuto and akaashi
> 
> fic updates are on [my twitter](https://twitter.com/zygosoji)
> 
> I have an ongoing krtsk fic called : [**light of the fireflies**](https://archiveofourown.org/works/27835597) which I try to update consistently so please give it a read if you're interested haha
> 
> thank you for reading! hope you all are doing well


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